The loss of a child is the most excruciating pain and to say that our hearts are shattered seems like an understatement. Our lives are forever changed and we can never go back to who we were again. We can only move forward to who we will be.

How do we carry the pieces of our shattered hearts forward so that we find hope and meaning in our lives? When Mikael died, I turned to the Lord for help and asked him to protect the fragments of my heart and show me the path he wanted me to take. I asked for comfort and guidance. I asked God to carry me. And he did and still is.

Since the beginning of this journey, I have found it crucial to spend time in scripture every day and there are two concepts that have really cemented themselves in my mind as important for my continued growth around my pain and loss.

One is to look for and find joy. You may wonder, how in the world do I feel joy when my heart has just been broken! I will start by saying joy does not equal happiness. We do not have to be happy to have or find joy. My greatest joy is the joy in my salvation. I know that I am a child of God and that I have been redeemed by the blood of Christ. I know that I am spending eternity with God. This is a joy that can never be taken away by anything that happens in life. The sorrow and heartbreak that I carry cannot take away the joy of my salvation.

There are also so many simple things that God puts in my life that bring joy. If we look for all of these moments and embrace them, we can find our path to joy. Sitting on the deck with morning coffee and watching the sun sparkle on the water – joy. Watching my granddaughters play – joy. Walking through the woods, listening to the sounds with the blue sky overhead – joy. Spending time with friends and family – joy. Savouring these moments of joy provides such peace and stability. Joy finds us when we seek it.

The second thing is to find our purpose. God has put us here on this earth for a reason. Ephesians 2: 10 says, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do,” (NIV).

We each have gifts and skills that can be used by God to help others and to share him with others. I have been given the gifts of faith, empathy, writing and speaking. Letting God use them now to help others who are grieving is a positive purpose and honours Mikael. I know that I must follow God’s direction in order to keep growing and moving forward. Allowing God to use my abilities for His purposes is the main way that the pieces of my heart are carried forward.