Bittersweet

Last weekend we were at a family wedding. I love weddings; a marvellous backdrop for creating family memories. One of the best parts of the evening was watching all of the kids living their best life! There was a candy bar, dancing, dress up table and a playground outside. A children’s wonderland! I don’t think my granddaughters stopped smiling all night! As I stood watching them out on the dance floor busting out their moves, I could feel joy filling my heart. At the same time, a wave of sorrow – I could picture Mikael there dancing with the girls, swinging them around, laughing with the family. He would have loved it. I had a brief moment and my son, Davis, gave me hug until I was okay again.

I have found myself thinking about these bittersweet moments of joy and sorrow. How joyfulness and sadness can coexist at the same time. For those of us in the club of lost children, I think we must expect it. I think it’s where we choose to put our focus that matters. Will we dwell on the bitter or the sweet? Can we acknowledge the bitter and let it flow through us but then look towards the sweet. I know that evening at the wedding, once I got through that moment, I was able to continue enjoying the children and soak up, and be part of, all of the happiness that surrounded me. I definitely know that Mikael would have wanted me to do that. I allowed the sweet to soothe the bitter. I know that the Lord will continue to help me do this in my life.