Feelings of Unreality

The other day, while driving home, it hit me once again how unreal all of this is. Looking out the window, thinking, it can’t be possible for Mikael to not be here anymore. How? How can this be?

It’s been 14 months since Mikael died and I guess I thought that at some point thoughts like this might pass, but it seems they don’t. They do become less frequent but don’t go away entirely. The first few months after Mikael’s death, this thought of disbelief was constant and I couldn’t wrap my brain around the reality. Now, the unreality of it still sneaks up once in a while, like it did the other day, but I think I’m a little better equipped to deal with it. I think that even though our grief never goes away, God gives us the tools, the help and the comfort to deal with all of the twists and turns that come along with it.