Layers

I once heard an analogy about grief in which it was compared to a large stone. The analogy was that the stone starts out very large and heavy but gradually wears down over time and gets smaller and smaller and easier to carry in your pocket. I simply could not connect with this analogy. Then I heard another analogy that made perfect sense to me. In this analogy, the grief stayed the same but over time, layer after layer grew around it. Ah, yes! Now this I understand and can relate to! Over the past year, my grief for Mikael has not lessened or gotten smaller. Each day, as I keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep trusting the Lord with my steps, layers of strength and hope have been growing around the grief and sorrow that I hold in my heart. The pain and brokenness of my heart remain but these layers have been added around it, protecting it and carrying it forward. I have found that I can carry grief and hope and joy at the same time. In fact, every experience of joy, every activity that provides fulfillment, every moment spent with loved ones, provides those layers of strength that are needed to wrap around my grief. I still have some excruciating days and moments and I can accept that this will always be, but I have hope in the Lord to keep walking step by step. If you are starting out on this journey, I encourage you to keep walking, or some days crawling, forward.