Mother’s Day

Well, I would love to say that I breezed through today but that would be such a lie I just might get struck by lightning! I sat through church today and I could not keep the tears from flowing. And flowing. And flowing. I felt like I would evaporate in a wisp of air at any moment. For, I think the first time in my life, I felt frail. Frailty. I have been through so many difficult things over the years and throughout all of it, I have felt many things: discouraged, helpless, angry, unsure, the list goes on. But I don’t really recall ever feeling frail. In fact I would have said I have always felt the opposite of frail. Well, not today! Today my fragile heart could barely hold on.

I simply felt like I truly don’t know how I will carry this pain for the rest of my life. And that’s the thing about this loss. It isn’t pain I will carry for a while, it is for the rest of my time on this earth. Once again, I find myself at the same place as Peter in John 6: 68, 69. “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and to know that you are the Holy One of God.” On how these words are becoming some of my favourite to read and hold in my heart. I will not carry this alone. I have an almighty God who is carrying it with me.

To all the mothers out there who are on this same road as I am. I want you to know that I truly feel and understand the tremendous difficulty of today. I know it is such an arduous path to keep walking. I hope and pray for each one of you that you will be able to let God carry you every step of the way.