Distraction
This was a post of mine from February 2023
Distraction February 15, 2023
The other day, I came out of a meeting about my Mother and tried to get into my vehicle. It took me a moment to realize that it wasn’t my vehicle. In fact, my vehicle wasn’t even parked close to it! Oh dear! What I think is even funnier is that this has happened multiple times over the past few weeks. Trying to unlock a vehicle that isn’t mine after coming out from running an errand.
Distraction! This is what it looks like. My mind is distracted with the constant underlying thoughts surrounding Mikael. Distraction. Repeating tasks because I don’t remember doing them, or not doing a task because I think I already did it. Distraction!
I’m sharing this because I thought that if anyone reading this is struggling with difficult circumstances, you may be experiencing this same distraction. You are not alone, and you are not losing your mind! It can be rather disconcerting but I think it’s completely normal. I think it will eventually pass, hopefully before I am arrested for attempted car theft!
Along with distraction of course comes brain fog! Those of you who have or are experiencing menopause know exactly what I’m talking about! Just amplify it by 10X, or 100X depending on the day. I’m not a grief expert by any means, but I definitely know that my brain right now is not functioning in the same way as it was before. I’d like to say that I’m a pretty intelligent woman and so it is rather disconcerting to find myself forgetting things, searching for words, being unsure of information that I should be certain of, second guessing myself at every turn. I do believe that this will pass over time.
February 2, 2024
I’d like to say that my memory has rebounded 100% but alas, that is not the case. Although I don’t think I’ve tried to get in someone else’s car for quite some time now, thank goodness, I still have a very difficult time remembering things. I can forget a conversation within minutes of having it sometimes. I’ve learned to have a sense of humour about it and also to find strategies to help me remember things. Lists, notes and calendars are my best friends! So, I guess at the end of the day, even though my brain fog and distraction have not passed as I hoped, I have learned to adapt.
