In a Split Second

Two years ago, on November 27, I was in Thunder Bay where my Mom had just had hip surgery. I left the hospital to go for lunch and have a bit of a break. Christmas was starting to ramp up and there were several Christmas Markets happening so I went and did a bit of shopping. I happily absorbed the Christmas vibe as I meandered through the throng of fellow shoppers. I was quite pleased with my purchases, especially the gift I found for Mikael's partner Shelley. I stopped at a restaurant and enjoyed a glass of wine and relaxed before I had to head back to the hospital. I had plans to meet a friend later that evening for supper, once I settled Mom in for the evening. All in all, it was shaping up to be a good day.

As I returned to the hospital to spend the remainder of the afternoon with Mom,  I was completely oblivious that at the same time, my son Davis had found his brother. He was living through the trauma of trying to revive him, calling 911, dealing with paramedics and police. And then of course, calling me. His world had completely flipped over and with that phone call, so did mine. Who could have known that in a split second, our hearts could be so completely broken. A fracture that would never repair.

We have learned to live with our brokenness. We lean on the Lord's strength to help us grow around it and carry it with us. Make no mistake, it is still inside us, it hasn't gone away. We live our lives day by day. One thing I have learned is that because everything we know on this earth can change in a moment, God's constant presence and love is the one thing that can be depended on. These days leading up to the anniversary of Mikael's death are really hard and I depend on the Lord all the more because of it.