Uncomplicated Happiness

I am currently working on obtaining a certificate in Death, Dying and Bereavement through Wilfred Laurier University. It involves 84 hours of course work of which I have currently completed 24. The latest online class was last week, on Supporting Bereaved Parents.

One of the topics was about secondary losses and the instructor made the statement that for bereaved parents, one of the secondary losses was the loss of uncomplicated happiness. It was such an "Aha!" moment. As she said it, I felt so completely understood; someone had put into words the thing that I have been struggling to articulate for myself for the past two years. The loss of uncomplicated happiness! I carry Mikael with me everywhere I go and the grief I hold attaches itself to all of my experiences. This includes the happy and joyful ones. I can never feel a moment of "just" pure joy; it is indeed complicated. I shared this with another mom who is in the club with me and found her wholeheartedly agreeing. Although it doesn't change our experiences going forward, it is nice to have the words to describe and understand what it actually is. And hopefully to help others understand as well.