Welcome to A Mother's Grief Journey

The loss of a child is the most difficult, heart wrenching journey to be on. We cannot walk it alone. I welcome you to join me on my website and blog where we can support each other through the challenges of grief. If you wish to connect with me, you are invited to fill out the contact form.

We are the rememberers for our children,

The holder of their stories for as long as

we draw breath on this earth

I'm Leanne, a mother who has experienced the devastating loss of a child. As I continue on my own journey of healing, it's my hope to help others who are on the same path. There is great strength to be gained by sharing our experiences on this road; a road we never asked to be on but are on nevertheless. On my blog, I share my thoughts and feelings about my own grief and I welcome you to share yours with me.

Leanne has faced every mother’s worst nightmare: the loss of her beloved son. She knows grief in its rawest most profound form But through her vulnerable memoir, she offers hope. For anyone walking the longest road, “A Beautiful Pain” offers solace.

Amazon Review

Written with honesty and love, this book is a compilation of thoughts, reflections and stories, that may not only validate the reader’s own grieving process but may also help one to better understand the grieving process of a loved one who is walking that path.

“Tattered Hearts and Hopeful Souls” shares God's Word as it has come alongside the author during her walk with grief after the death of her son. It is a devotional of comfort, healing and hope. This beautiful book also includes her poetry and photos of North Western Ontario where she lives.

We Are The Rememberers

Shortly after my mom passed away, memories of her could feel painful, but time has softened that sadness and now those memories have become a regular source of joy in my day to day life.  Sometimes it's something in my home that was hers - the mug that she gave me because she knew it was my favourite or my china cabinet that was a wedding gift - but often it's something I say.  "Oh for Pete's sake!"  Or maybe when I tell my kids I'm cross with their behaviour.  Who says "cross"??  My mom, that's who, and now, me.  Realizing how many parts of me have their origin in her is a special way to keep her memory alive. 

Shannon (Winnipeg) 

Mikael was such an amazing person. He was funny and caring and such an encourager. I could fill pages telling you all about him! He and I had many adventures together and he could make me bust a gut laughing! One of his most amazing gifts was his acceptance of others for who they were and his ability to reach out and make people feel welcome and that they mattered.

Leanne Davidson

I haven’t lost too many people who were really close to me, of which I am very thankful. God has spared me a lot of grief so far in my 34 years. Two people I was blessed with in life were my grandparents. They go hand in hand. They were a team. Always. Gramps and G-ma as I would regularly call them in my adolescent and adult years. They were too special to have regular names like grampa and gramma….I think they got a kick out of it. They did life together. I don’t know much of their life where they were apart. So I can’t just recall one without also remembering the other. Gramps and G-ma were people I could stop in and visit whenever. Their door was always open, to anyone. I would imagine there are many people, including myself who found them to be solid mentors in their life. Their dedication to loving people was very apparent. They could love others because they loved each other and they loved each other in their special way because they first loved God. They loved each other with grace. It was a quiet love. They weren’t “showy” or really outspoken. It was in their actions towards each other that I was blessed to witness how a husband loves his wife and how a wife loves her husband. Their relationship gave me a patient love to strive towards with my own future husband. 

They were easy to be around, and it seemed like they welcomed the company. Always having goodies to share. They would often invite me fishing with them, always having grape juice boxes. I would also enjoy helping with puzzles, which would be brought out at Christmas time. Towards the end, a group of family members would go to their house for lunch every Sunday after church. I don’t have one memory to share about one or the other, but rather their mission to serve the Lord in their life and marriage was palpable. This was the most impactful on my life as I recall two dearly loved people who meant so much to me. I’m so looking forward to having them meet my husband and children in Heaven one day. 

Siobhan (Sault Ste Marie)

My Dad

Earl St Patrick Speight

Died in April 1998 and there are days in which I still feel the loss as if it was today. But, there are more days when I think of my dad and I smile and even laugh. When I was growing up I was the epitome of “Daddy’s Girl”. I went everywhere with him. Saturday was grocery day at the IGA in Keewatin, bring groceries home and drop them off then off to the Department of Highways where my father was a Welder and he would sit and shoot the bull with some coworkers while I ran all over the huge garage. Sunday morning over to Grama Speight’s (Dads mom) where dad would make us bacon and eggs for breakfast and the three of us would argue and solve all the problems of the world and then laugh. (This of course was when I was older). But, when I was little I can still feel the joy of standing on the car seat just tucked in behind dad as we drove all over the place (no seatbelts back then).

Dad was the one who actually brought me close to God. Him and I would talk, well more him talk and I listened. He taught me how to pray. There was one night I will never forget, dad came for a sleepover as mom was having a bunch of ladies over for the evening. It was close to Christmas because I remember dad helping me decorate the dining room. All of a sudden he stopped and looked at me and said “Of you three kids, you are the one I do not worry about”. I laughed and asked him why. He said simply “Because you believe in God and you have a good faith.”

There were times when he would help me with the garden, we would shell peas and he would tell me bout his time during the war. He was a tail gunner in a Lancaster. Dad went to church every Sunday, read the bible every day, said prayers before each meal and before bed. He was alway open to discussion with me when I had questions. I loved my Dad fiercely, but did not realize how fiercely until he died.

So many years after he passed I walked around with a huge hole in my heart. I don’t know how else to describe it. It was massive. I was so angry with God for taking my Daddy away from me. Then, one day, it came to me.God didn’t take my Dad from me, God called my Dad home, it was time.

Once I realized that, I wasn’t mad at God anymore, and God loved me and carried me through all those years no matter what.

I could go on and on and on about my Father, all you really need to know is that he was an amazing Husband, Father, Christian, Friend, Person, and if you knew him, you were blessed.

Tammy Gropp(nee Speight)

I would love to hear from you. Please fill out the contact form and tell me a bit about yourself. You will receive my newsletter and a free resource on forgiveness. I also offer peer support to those on my email list.

Grief support

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Forest in autumn with bare trees and evergreen trees, featuring golden yellow larch trees in the foreground.

I hope you have found some comfort and encouragement exploring my website. I started amothersgriefjourney.com in 2022, after my son Mikael died of an accidental drug overdose. It was a way of expressing my own grief and at the same time, hoping that somehow that expression would help others.

What started as a blog, expanded to the sharing of pictures, poems and written and audio reflections. I also began to write about my experience and published my first book, “A Beautiful Pain” in 2024. I have been working on a second book, “Tattered Hearts and Hopeful Souls” which is a 30-day christian devotional for those grieving. It has been a labour of love and the devotional is in the final stages of publishing, so should be out for sale soon!

Throughout this painful journey after losing my son, Jesus has carried me so tenderly. I know that my saviour lives and works within me and through me. The Lord has provided opportunities for me to share my story with others so that they can find understanding and the hope of God’s everlasting love.

Lord I Need You 

An eternal need for you

I need you when the breeze is fresh on my face

the sun warm on my skin

I need you when my face is pressed to the floor

When I can’t breathe

and forward seems impossible

You are my God

I am your child

I need you when laughter lightens my soul

joy filtering into my heart

I need you when I am shattered and broken

Unable to move

Your constant presence

I need more than air

There is no time or space that can’t be filled

with your presence

You are my God

I am your child

Every moment, every heartbeat, I need you

Scenic view of foggy landscape with trees, mist, and a serene body of water at sunrise or sunset.

A candle inside a large ice lantern with a decorative ribbon, glowing in the night.

Join me on this healing journey